Getting back into shape postpartum has been eye opening. The last time I did any hard workouts was last December before I knew I was pregnant. Since all the months prior hadn’t resulted in a positive pregnancy test I had decided to bust my butt and start working out hardcore with some YouTube videos to try to lose about 10 lbs. I was feeling it, doing good and enjoying it. And then I got pregnant. Out went the hard workouts and in came the walking and general hiking. I missed rollerblading and even the 1-2 mile jogs I would take. I didn’t lift weights much and after a certain point I stopped doing core exercises. Bending down and touching my toes without needing to bend my knees to do so became my only measuring point of fitness towards the end. I took pride in the fact that I was 40 weeks pregnant and could still touch my toes—nevermind the fact I’d gained 50 lbs and was huge.
So, here I am 10 weeks postpartum and nearing 40 lbs lost of that 50 lbs. I’ve been close to this current weight twice in my life, the highest weight point for me prior to being pregnant: senior year of college and just before hiking the AT. Both times, however, I was still able to maintain muscle mass, and even though I was fluffy I was still in single digit clothing sizes. The muscle mass kept things a little tighter even though I was overweight.
Now, I know we’re not supposed to get all wrapped up in the number on the jeans because they always vary from designer to designer, but who am I kidding? I think just about every woman does at some point in their life. A few weeks ago we had a women’s team-building lunch at work and before I headed home I stopped by Target for some baby-free shopping. I was still wearing maternity jeans and didn’t have much in the way of winter wear for my post baby body. I’m a simple clothing girl, I like jeans and t-shirts, maybe a button down or two during the winter. I thought I’d stop in and get a few pieces of clothing to tide me over until I could get into my actual winter wardrobe later in the season. I was also optimistic, grabbing only a size up from what I was pre-pregnancy. I did this because only a few weeks ago I’d managed to get on my pre-pregnancy jeans and button them with a massive muffin top, leading me to think that I only had about 10 lbs to go before I could get in them, leading me further to think that I was thinner than I was.
When I got into the dressing room I was in for a rude awakening. That size jeans didn’t fit. Defeated I went back out and pulled off the shelf the next two sizes. Normally I wouldn’t have even attempted to go bigger, going bigger meant bad, bad things. But, my maternity jeans were getting loose and frankly I was just tired of wearing them. In the end the size two sizes bigger than the original pair I tried on ended up being what I chose. I was pissed off but at least comfortable and happy to be wearing jeans that zipped for once in many months.
What I was left with was knowing I had a lot further to go to getting back in shape. I’d lost a lot of muscle mass and my abdominal wall was still wrecked. I realized this over the weekend when I went for a jog. Not only was I just jiggly from fat but I could feel my muscles loose and hurting. I didn’t straight jog that mile—I delusionally thought I could do it before I left…I think my lung capacity was up for it—but my abs told me otherwise. So, I chose to run to *that* mailbox, walk to *that* crack in the road, etcetera, etcetera on down the road.
It felt good. My thighs were tight and cramping when I finished. I remembered that I could rollerblade now, one of my favorite cardio activities aside from hiking. I’ll have to dig those out soon.
For the last several weeks I’ve been doing the PiYo workouts and I can definitely tell they are helping me strength and stretching wise, but it is nice on the running just to get some straight out cardio every now and then. The DVDs are great for the evenings and one of my priorities right now is that 30 minutes at least three or four evenings a week in which I can work out. When Forest goes to daycare in December I will eventually use my lunch break for some workouts during the week which will free up some evenings for me to spend time with Forest and to work on other creative things.
Over the weekend I sorted through maternity clothes that were out of season and put them away. I also went through all of my pants and winter clothes and folded them, putting them on the top shelves in my closet, making room for my ‘big’ clothes. My sister-in-law, Stephanie, has undergone a transformation over the last two years. She’s taken charge of her health and dropped considerable weight but also improving her health at the same time. I thought of her as I left Target, not wanting to buy more than one pair of pants in that size. I wondered if she had any of her ‘big’ clothes left over and gave her a call. I was in luck, she still had them and sent them down with my mom when my mom came to watch Forest last week. I went through the the bags she sent, keeping the sizes I could wear now and those I would be slimming down into over the coming months. Now these are in my closet instead of my regular wardrobe. Yes, the sizes bother me but having clothes that fit me and make me feel good is also important.
Hopefully I can continue to make progress and get back into good cardio and strength fitness once again. I’m ready for some long hikes come spring and I need to get as strong as I can so I can carry the little dude (who is getting huge by the day!) on the trails.